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amazing laziness
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
it's amazing how ppl whom i know that are WAYYYYYYYYY lazier than i am, can keep up a blog while i can't! either 1) i can't be bothered and they can or, 2) they are not as lazy as they seem to be and i am lazier than i thought, or 3) they have too much time?hmppfffff. no idea which. too lazy to think which is which. i guess i'll be blogging more often since i have nothing better to do...
broddo and sisto went to perth on sunday with pops. sighs. it's like taking my best friends away from me. they are my best friends for the time i've been back to sg. they were the ones accompanying me the entire time. going out, playing together, talking rubbish, eating, etc. going to perth meant distancing myself from many ppl especially my friends. haven't really talked to any of them. even my relatives. not as close anymore. still, no matter what happens, family ties can never be changed. as mums always says, friends can come and go but family never changes.
no matter how my friendship between my friends and i change, my ties with my family can never change, not even with time or distance. i can personally attest to that. it sucks to know that too. walking home alone, going out alone, shopping alone, eating alone and all that just loses all its colour. life is more colourful with ppl in it.
getting all emo. no one at home except jen and i. it's raining heavily too. kinda reflects on my mood now. i guess i need a companion. now i know why i had bfs that i didn't like. companionship. even if it meant making use of their feelings, i was lonely. i needed someone to feel up the void in me. those whom i had feelings for couldn't do that.
haha... i am jealous. like darn jealous. of the close ties my bro has with his friends. of the close ties my bro and sis have with the rest of the family. kenwei cried so badly after knowing ally was leaving. even after she left, he was still crying so badly. all broddo's friends came and some even came over to stay with him for the last night before sending him to the airport with the others. most of the maternal and paternal side of the family all came to send them off. how can i not be jealous? my grandparents never sended me off even though i went to perth.
i'm not being ungrateful to those who did send me- (xanne, zh, nszm and cz). or those whom i said don't need to send me. arghhhhh. this insane feeling in me. and the jealousy that i got when my cuz beat me in L1R5. admittedly it was 1 point only BUT i was the one who did best in the family. it sucked to have someone beating me. and someone whom i didn't really expect. it was the only time when i felt bad about my grades and regretted not studying for O levels as hard as i could have. why did i watch Da Chang Jin during my O levels period? why didn't i use that time to study harder? best part was I watched the show till 7 am on Sunday morning and went to bed, waking up in the afternoon to go to my grandma's for dinner then going to slp before my paper on monday. dang dang dang....
i think too much when i am alone. spend a lot more when i am alone too.
feel like buying................
1) bags (cine; 2 bags) 2) wallets (2; one each for aus and sg. no idea where to buy yet.) 3) sport shoes? 4) skincare products 5) havainas slippers (heeren. vivo don't have the size.... :( ) 6) ds lite skin or NICE cases 7) stationary
feel like going.........
1) marina square 2) novena 3) another new shopping mall in novena 4) bugis 5) suntec 6) marina bay
feel like doing..........
1) collecting the damn disc from sim lim square 2) going to MOM to get the damn overtime pay and money back 3) going to the museum 4) going to watch 27 dresses 5) going to plaza singapura to collect the MISSHA hamper
feel like eating at..........
1) authentic french cafe (vivo) 2) he she hui (vivo)- durian mochi, mao shan wang and custard buns 3) hong kong kim gary restaurant (vivo)- peanut butter toast, milk tea and mango luxe 4) carousel (royal plaza on the scotts) 5) mos burger (milk tea) 6) waraku (clarke quay)- hamburger steak and matcha zen 7) some ice-cream parlour (clarke quay)- sea salt caramel and milk tea ice-cream 8) da paolo ( bukit timah) 9) margerita (faber hill)
places i don't like.....
1) sakae sushi 2) west town council 3) fu lu shou complex 4) chinatown
places i LUUUUUUUURVE LOVE LOVE!!!!
1) keppel 2) vivo 3) clarke quay 4) orchard
now this post is getting too long. will be back. :)
♥ occasionally sane but mostly weird 3:54 pm.
Prelude
Annsley's words.
She tried to fall in love but failed.
She learned everything the hard way.
To be on top, you must sacrifice.
She's alone.
Putting distance between people and herself.
She's losing everyone.
Hell of a complicated girl.
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