Works are by yours truly; Annsley.
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my tendencies
Sunday, September 24, 2006
oh how right was it when i chose facades of emotionsas my blog's name. it is really so. even my msn nick says that a mist clouds and shades over my emotions'cause i realized it's no point being so direct and say it all out. people just keep coming up and ask nosy or curious questions. a nick like a mist clouds and shades over my emotions draws far less queries whilst the intellectuals find it amusing and stop at there. somehow my tendency to talk to people online seem to appear only when i'm back in sg. i'm quite reserved online here.
SEARCH FOR A STARwas a HUGE success if you asked me. the performance was great and that's coming from me when i was very reluctant to go. however, i had to usher and whisk and away, lo and behold, i was there doing the door with jasper. it was difficult at all though i don't really want to think how it was inside with the others.
got hit with realizations whilst watching the show and at that time, i was with kenneth cause that boy didn't want to seat alone and i told him if he waited for me, i'd go with him and that i'd accompany him all the way.
it was really strange cause our bods were so close to one another that they were overlapping. not entirely but at least a bit. still, it was comfortable being with him and how come i can talk easily to people i'm very familar with but with others, it's like having a wedge in between my mouth that i can't talk and words don't seem to flow out. it's like a staggered flow of water. anyway, back to the point. please don't get mistaken. i don't know what i'm expecting and i'm expecting that no one reads my blog (seriously i am) but kenneth is just like a little boy albeit the fact that he's 2 years older than me. it'd be just like falling for a boy. almost paedophile-like. whilst i was thinking about it, kelly clarkson's song Walk Awaycame into my mind. something like howi don't want a boy but a man in a relationship. she speaks of should the guy stay or should (he) go, how i waited for you so long, stop pretending, and that i don't want a boy that run-and- hides; a game that a boy plays.
what it felt like to me was that a boy treats relationships like a game and probably he's too immature with childish characteristics for relationships that she wants a man instead. a man to treat relationships seriously and matured enough to treat her right. it was exactly that very same thought that occurred to me that i decided that it's no point liking the other one either. he's still very much the boy he used to be. though he's probably slightly more matured than kenneth at times, he's still a boy that whines and pleads; a reminder of how my brother used to be when he was a young thing, trying to plead his way with me that my heart would just melt. seriously, i'm just too soft-hearted or is it just a woman's characteristic?
mentioned the wrong person in full frontal with Jay then. i feel terrible especially for shelina. i'm really sorry for that, that i wished i could just die then and then. it wouldn't help much and i just felt horrid insides. partly from the fact that i would try not to like him anymore and the fact that i did something bad. arghhhh. stupid me. i think there's a gap between my brain and my mouth. my nervous system had a part chewed out methinks't.
plenty of cute guys there and loads of cute children. the guy from school also went with his friend. though many guys from school went, the guy whom i don't know is the one i think is quite cute. however, there were many cute guys that i didn't know either. saw many people i don't get to see often- even less than that of my churchmates, and made some new friends.
can't remember Kevin's friends but there's David from choir, the other ushers serving, Gerard, Uncle, Bernie, Stephanie, lawrence and terence. saw Melissa(she's still uber-cutee), Jason(he cut his hair; quite style now), and Hongjun with his gf(i think). shucks. i didn't have dinner cause Kevin was going home to eat and he was sending me home. had lotsa sweets for dinner though. you should see the amount of sweets we took back man. lawence and kevin had the most. bleagh. can puke already. i got a lot too but i poured some over the a less full bag of terence's cause i really had too much. and nowwww, I'm UBER HUNGRY!!!! i want to eat but eat what??
oh yeah, i haven't got to studying either. die. tml gotta call daddy and mumsy back. oh wells. i'll survive. goodnight.
♥ occasionally sane but mostly weird 4:21 am.
Prelude
Annsley's words.
She tried to fall in love but failed.
She learned everything the hard way.
To be on top, you must sacrifice.
She's alone.
Putting distance between people and herself.
She's losing everyone.
Hell of a complicated girl.
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A N N S L E Y there's nothing wrong with my name.
If you think you know me, read my blog and think again. I'm imperfect and I can't help it..
I'm the only witness and the only person who can judge my life.
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