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shamed
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
has anyone felt that nasty sickness in the pits of your soul? i have. i just did. today. now. ever knew how you never understand about some things and when you read it for the millionth and one times, the meaning suddenly pops out and hit you in the face, with its clarity comparable to the clearest of all diamonds? i just did.
i have mistaken him, ranted at him, saying all those things i should not have. just because i did not understand what was going on. i feel ashamed. ashamed of being so insensitive, thoughtless and tactless. things i have prided myself for having before. i berated, i openly dispaired, disappointment and all; when i should have offered comfort and encouragement. now, i know my mistakes but it's too late for amends.
i made him sound or rather, the exact word to use is accuse. i accused him of being the victim pretending to be a victim, when in actual fact, he is a victim of the harsh reality of life. i think he was shocked, shocked by my display of raw anger and disappointment that he apologised. arrrgghhh... why am i such a fool?! i didn't know anything about his prediacarment so i should have just kept my mouth shut. by the tail of the cow, i just can't seem to keep my mouth closed long enough to stay out of trouble!!! sew my mouth please!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... i feel guilty and shamed.
twinny, here's your special mention. boy, i'm supposed to fall deeply and madly in love with you than ever; which i am. help me stop falling for people i should steer clear away!!!!!! the only person i want to fall in love with is YOUUUU!!!!! ok. now, i DO sound like a les madcap. LOL.
♥ occasionally sane but mostly weird 10:05 am.
Prelude
Annsley's words.
She tried to fall in love but failed.
She learned everything the hard way.
To be on top, you must sacrifice.
She's alone.
Putting distance between people and herself.
She's losing everyone.
Hell of a complicated girl.
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