Works are by yours truly; Annsley.
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demons of the past. let it go.
Monday, October 31, 2005
i am seriously so proud of myself. apparently i don't give enough credit to myself. my friendster profile is highly visited. (jaws drop) much to my amazement. and it didn't occur to me that people actually do read my profile!!! oh well. if people think it suck, then too bad. they are merely straining their eyes to read the rubbish i produce on my profile. but truth to be said, i am very proud of sticking up for myself against the cam&co. sighs. i can finally let the demons of my past go. no more sticking around trying to retain the old friendship. obviously she doesn't give a hoot about me, nor the rest of us that care for her, and want the best for her. since she can let her friends or it might even be her who did it to me, it just reinforces my good foresight to let her go.
one can never live in the past. it is impossible to live like this forever. ultimately you would only end up tearing yourself apart. the demons of the past only exist because you let it exist. the will of the mind has the power to extinguish these demons and you, have the power to that. shan't say anything more but here's the part i'm posting up, that i'm particularly proud of.
i do hope u're reading it, since u've read it all before. coward. i'm not replying straight out cause it would only go back to the wrong person. why hide under the shelter of someone else's name? i don't even know you. or if u're the actual person, i can't be bothered. u threw away all our friendship. i can't stand living in the past. living my life for you. i'm sick of it. no more expectations. don't u think i've got enough of that already? i live my life the way i want it to be. hell, i don't live my life for you. it doesn't revolve around what u think of me or what u think i should and shouldn't do. life's too short to live a double life; a life of me and a life of your expectations of me. if this is what u think, so be it. it only changes your impression of who i am in your eyes. but ultimately, the main thing is, do i care what u think of me? puh-lease. you are not even in my life, what's more, part of my life. so why do u think what u've said would make a statement or change the way i live my life? get a grip. it's time to be welcomed to TRUE LIFE. no more of stuff like SIMPLE LIFE? it isn't all about making comments and snides. it is all about living it.
yepp. that's it. it all seems so simple now. but i'm not one to say cause it sure did take me long enough to do so. still, i feel relieved. no more excuses. no more lies. no more denying. confronted my demons. and one to remind anyone or me of when i read this again, anything evil or negative are all cowards. they torment you at signs of weaknesses. they use that as their selling point, this is their control over you. but if these weaknesses are something you are un-ashamed of, or something you are un-afraid of, mann. u're on free bird. no one would ever have a hold on you. so this is also another careful reminder to live your life respectably, not that you can not have fun of course, just that don't do anything against your conscience. a free conscience is the best bet to remain a free man. remember that.
♥ occasionally sane but mostly weird 5:09 pm.
Prelude
Annsley's words.
She tried to fall in love but failed.
She learned everything the hard way.
To be on top, you must sacrifice.
She's alone.
Putting distance between people and herself.
She's losing everyone.
Hell of a complicated girl.
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A N N S L E Y there's nothing wrong with my name.
If you think you know me, read my blog and think again. I'm imperfect and I can't help it..
I'm the only witness and the only person who can judge my life.
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